The Bait of Satan

Offense is subtle and sneaky. It rarely announces itself with a loud crash; instead, it slips in quietly through a careless word, a misunderstood tone, or an unmet expectation. but it’s one of the enemy’s sharpest tools.

In marriage and relationships, offense doesn’t just wound feelings — it opens the door for division, bitterness, and missed blessings. John Bevere famously called offense “The Bait of Satan” because it lures us into traps that keep us from walking in love and unity.

Lucky  for us scripture shows us how to resist offense, guard our hearts, and even allow certain offenses to propel us closer to God’s purpose.  We see an example of this in Matthew 13:57–58 — When Jesus returned to His hometown, people were offended by Him. Because of their offense, He “did not do many mighty works there.” Offense literally blocked miracles.

In marriage, offense can block intimacy, communication, and the flow of God’s favor. When we hold grudges, we shut the door to reconciliation and blessing . Offense truly is the Enemy’s Trap, in  Luke 17:1 — Jesus said, “It is impossible that no offenses should come.” Offense is inevitable, but how we respond determines whether we fall into the trap. The enemy uses offense to isolate us, whisper lies like “They don’t value you” or “You deserve better.”

So how do we recognize that the offense is the bait and instead we must choose humility and communication? Proverbs 19:11 reminds us, “It is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Easier said than done right? When we are offended, the flesh  starts getting stirred up and we get hot and ready to fire. You can almost  feel the old self rise up without missing a beat. Can you relate?

In Ephesians 4:26–27  it says “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” This is a our clear instruction to  deal with it quickly, talk it out, forgive, or release it before the day ends.

But did you ever think that an offense can catapult you into a blessing? Not all offense is destructive, sometimes being “offended” by truth shakes us out of complacency. In Acts 2:37 — When Peter preached, the people were “cut to the heart.” That offense led to repentance and salvation. In marriage, a loving confrontation may sting, but it can lead to growth, healing, and deeper intimacy.

Offenses are unavoidable, but it doesn’t have to be fatal. In marriage, it can either block blessings or become the very thing that propels us into greater unity and purpose. The choice is ours: take the bait of Satan, or resist it through forgiveness, humility, and love.

Refuse to carry yesterday’s offense into today and the tomorrows to come and allow God to use even your most painful moments to refine your relationship.  Ask yourself, “Am I holding on to an offense that is keeping God’s blessings from flowing in my marriage?” Be encouraged to  release it through forgiveness.

Grieving Something You Never Had

Have you ever fallen deeply in love with the idea of someone loving you, only to realize that it will never come to pass? When that realization hits, it can shatter your heart into a million pieces. It’s puzzling how one can become enamored with the notion of a person in their life who never truly wants to be in it. 

I fell in love with the dream of one day meeting my father. That dream came to fruition when I was just 13 years old. That phone call and the many that followed filled a void I had for years, a void I didn't even know existed.
Growing up, I shared wonderful memories with my grandpa, uncles, and cousins who showered me with love.  

They made me feel cherished, and often, I didn't feel the absence of my father's love as acutely as I might have. Yet, I found myself daydreaming in elementary school, imagining a soldier walking through the doors to find me. I had a scenario scripted, but that was all it was—an illusion of connection.

When that phone call opened the door to communication, and I finally met him at 16, I wish I could tell you it marked the beginning of a lasting relationship. Sadly, it didn't. Now nearing 50, I can't recall the last time we spoke. Altogether, we've met only about seven times. 

In recent years, I've noticed that each birthday feels heavier, the same goes for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas…. I find myself feeling sad and disappointed as I wait for a birthday text or phone call that never comes. This pain often leaves me questioning why it affects me so deeply as an adult. Is it the visibility of a life he lives, where he is a father and grandfather to others, while my family remains nonexistent in his world? How dare I expect something when the man I met over the phone, whom I barely know?

Whatever the reasons might be, I thank God for the blessing this far and forgive the offense. I've come to realize that I am continuously enduring a grieving process. I grieve the loss of love I never truly had—a love that wasn't mine, a love that never fully blossomed.  I rely on what the word says to find comfort and pray Holy Spirit teaches me to be a better spouse and parent to purposely plant different seeds into my children and their future families, and be watchful that it never develops into hidden issues or strongholds the enemy can use to hinder marriage.

Yet, even in this place of pain, I find solace in God's everlasting love. In Psalm 34:18, it says, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." This verse serves as a reminder that even in our most profound grief, we are not alone. We can lay our burdens before Him and seek the healing that only His love can provide.

As we navigate the complexities of relationships and unfulfilled longings, may we hold onto the hope that God sees our pain and is always ready to embrace us with love and comfort.

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."

Rebuke, Loosen, Bind & Cast Out

Matthew 18:18-20 "Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."  As I read this scripture, I am reminded to focus on the part that talks about "loose on earth."   Matthew reminds us that we have the authority to lose things here on Earth. I am quickly reminded that I have the power to loosen and bind peace over my family here on Earth.  What a powerful reminder!
This by all means is not about condemnation against our spouse, but when we see areas in their life that don't align with the path God has for them, as their life partner, we are responsible to lovingly address these issues using biblical principles, and learn how to fight in warfare is key to making it through.
The enemy sets out to kill, steal, and destroy, and we must be ready for battle to defend our families.  His sole purpose is to destroy families, especially Christ-centered homes.  Did you know that the blood of Jesus gives you authority to rebuke, loosen, bind, and cast out to darkness that which comes to steal your peace?
It’s essential to be in one accord so that it is clear to you that your spouse is not the enemy; you have an unseen enemy that comes dressed as anger, financial burden, illness, and much more.  The blood of Jesus gives you the authority to rebuke, loosen, bind, and cast out these attacks so that you are set free and delivered. 
"Lord, we ask for Your wisdom as we navigate our relationship. Lord, we rebuke any attack orchestrated by the enemy; we bind that situation trying to tear us apart, trying to steal our peace; we loosen it, we bind it,  and cast it out into darkness.  Instead, we lose and bind joy and peace in our home and over our family.  Father, may your blessings pour over our union. Shine Your light into any areas of darkness and reveal them to us so that, in the name of Jesus, we pray, driving away anything that does not align with Your will for our marriage. Amen."

When we get married, we vow to love and support one another, and oftentimes we end up having to correct one another and pray that we have the maturity to do so in a graceful manner because the word teaches us that our spouse is not our enemy.  As we grow spiritually, we learn about warfare, this never-ending battle of God's Kingdom and Satan's Kingdom, light and darkness.  

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."

Healed, Redeemed,Transformed

*Healed*
 To be free from injury or disease; to restore to wholeness and health—healing a wound. To make someone well again, to heal the sick. To overcome undesirable conditions and mend troubles.
*Redeemed*
To buy back or repurchase. To regain or win back. To free from distress or harm, such as liberating from captivity by payment of ransom.
*Transformed*
To change in composition or structure. To alter outward appearance or form. To change in character or condition.
In that moment, I found myself praising God for keeping my heart pure, for granting me the strength to pray for those who have allowed the enemy to use them against my family.  As a mother, you understand the intensity of wanting to protect your children—you can go from calm to fierce in an instant when you witness an injustice against your children.  I had to practice patience and strength, maintaining my faith.  More importantly, I had the privilege of ministering, sharing the good news, and reassuring my family that our trust is in the Lord.

Healed, redeemed, and transformed. There are no coincidences in God's timing. Recently, I had several conversations that made me reflect on how victorious I felt after facing a challenge. I recognized how healed, redeemed, and transformed I was when I refused to let the enemy pull me back into my old self. The temptation was there, but it quickly turned into a recognition of the enemy's tactics. I thought, "God has this! Don’t even think for a moment that I will return to who I used to be."

While it may sometimes feel like we're taking 20 steps backward, we must shift our perspective to see challenges as catapults, propelling us further than we could ever imagine. Each trial makes us stronger and gives us a testimony to share.  By allowing ourselves to be gifts of discipleship and dedicated followers of Jesus, we cultivate peace and deep faith. 

Allow the sharing of your experiences with others to be a highlight of your parenting journey, and embrace being able to pour into your family as the blessing it is.

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."

I have come far

Have you ever read a devotional or scripture that reminds you of how far you've come?  Resentment has cost me friends and even family. I built walls to protect myself from the pain of disappointment, convincing myself that staying distant was safer than risking hurt. The outcome I anticipated was always the same—getting close only to be let down.

A believer's journey includes choosing to love family members who might gossip or harbor envy towards my successes. They see the fruits of my labor but often overlook the struggles, storms, and the unwavering faith that has carried me through, but now I choose to fall in love with building the Kingdom of God instead of pursuing my own self-interests.

To truly reopen my heart, I realized I needed to submit and surrender to God’s ways. It’s essential to view each person as God’s creation, recognizing that they, too, are imperfect and capable of causing hurt. I understood that the seeds I needed to plant for the future were far more significant than the resentment I held onto. I had to embrace a childlike faith. Like our little ones, whom we may discipline, yet still come running for hugs, I had to learn to forgive quickly and practice turning the other cheek when someone offends me.

Matthew 7:21 (NIV) tells us: "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." In Matthew 6, we’re reminded to seek first the Kingdom.  Even as a new believer, this message resonates deeply.  Pastor Mike Todd taught a series and shared that “when it comes to pursuing God, there is no period.” We mustn't put a period in the Kingdom; there are only commas. This means we continue to pursue His Kingdom with intention.

By focusing on our spiritual growth and choosing to be His hands and feet in every circle of influence—family, friends, clients, and beyond—we can reach others without limits.  Through social media, blogs, small groups, and more, we can create a legacy rooted in a Kingdom mindset. 

When we are gone, may people remember the love and purpose we shared in service to God.

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Calm and Stoic

How can you cultivate a calm and stoic marriage grounded in biblical principles? 

Challenges are inevitable in this world, but if we learn to tap into biblical teachings to strengthen our relationships, we can grow stronger with each other and in God's word.  So, can you be intentional in anchoring your faith? 

 A great start is to begin each day with a quiet reflection. One scripture you can start with is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which speaks to love, patience, and understanding, all of which are essential daily in a marriage and life in general. Meditate on these words and ask God to guide your actions throughout the day. Consider how you can incorporate these attitudes into your life.

Another way is to be mindful of your interactions by practicing reflecting the love of Christ.  In James, we learn not only to listen, but he advises us to "be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."  Imagine what your day will look like if you practice these basic principles.

Lastly, celebrate your blessings.  Something as simple as the very air you breathe is a blessing, one that we take for granted daily. Make time at the end of the day to reflect together on the day, and even try this each week for a deep reflection on your relationship.  Use Colossians 3:13 as a guide. " Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. 

 Forgive as The Lord forgave you." Consider journaling these moments together to celebrate the milestones in your marriage.  One cool idea to incorporate weekly is a gratitude jar.  Set a jar by your bedside and weekly, each write down your gratitude. A year later, sit together and take turns reading them. You will be full of reminders of all the ways God provided for you throughout the year.

Be encouraged to create a foundation of spiritual wisdom by integrating passages from Proverbs and Psalms into your life, aiming to have a sturdy foundation.  Remember that marriage is a journey of companionship, growth, and faith. May God bless your union with peace, understanding, and an everlasting bond that reflects the love of Christ.

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."

Judas Moments

In Romans 8:28, we read that "all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Married couples will encounter storms that sway left and right and with challenges that feel like betrayals, but when you allow Jesus to be the anchor, no storm can destroy what God has joined.  What if we viewed those betrayals the way Judas played a role in the betrayal of Jesus?  It is not a matter of if, but when we encounter trials in a marriage.  

Do you feel you have the spiritual maturity to see it as "all things will work out for the good of those who love him"?   

You must be ready and anticipate moments when the individual you share life with tests your faith and commitment. These "Judas Moments" will bring pain and suffering, but they can also strengthen you and push you towards victory. While hardships are challenging, they can refine your character and deepen the bond with your spouse if you allow God to use them for His Glory.

I invite you to take a moment to reflect and identify a conflict in your marriage to use it as a conversation starter and discuss it openly, embrace it as a part of growing and a step closer to victory.

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."