Joy In Suffering

I think I speak for everyone by saying that we have all faced tough times in our lives, and the thought of joy doesn’t naturally fit in.  In studying Philippians, we all learn something.  I know I have been there, in the midst of a struggle, joy seems like something impossible.  I want to talk about a man from the Bible whose life, just like Paul's, was about leaving us a legacy, one of finding joy even when life gets tough. I chose to use the life of Joseph as an example of finding joy in suffering based on Philippians.

Not Mary's Joseph, Joseph, the one who was the favored son of Jacob. He had dreams of greatness, and those dreams stirred jealousy in the hearts of his brothers. We see in Genesis 37 how they betrayed him, selling him into slavery.  Can you imagine the feelings of betrayal and despair he must have experienced? He was stripped of his father's love and forced into slavery by his own brothers. How tough would you find joy if you were Joseph? Joseph's situation seemed hopeless.

However, Joseph’s story doesn’t end with despair. Instead, he found himself serving  Patiphar who was an egyptian official but even being a slave, he worked in excellence, he wasnt mopping around crying dwelling about what he lost, he earned favor in a place where he should have been feeling hopeless, and this serves as a reminder to us that every time we hear his story to remember no matter the circumstances if we are intentional, we can find joy thru anything.

But the challenges didn’t stop there! We all know the story. Even as Joseph excelled in Potiphar’s house, he faced false accusations from Potiphar's wife, which landed him in prison. Here is where we might expect Joseph to wallow in despair due to another betrayal, but instead, what does the Scripture say?  In prison, he continued to find favor. He interpreted dreams for his fellow inmates, the cupbearer and the baker, and while he was forgotten for a time, Joseph remained faithful. Eventually, his ability led him to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams, and he was elevated to second-in-command in Egypt and later blessed the same brothers who sold him.

Through all these trials, Joseph never lost sight of his dreams or his faith, just like Paul in prison. His joy came from God, not from his circumstances.  In Genesis 50:20, Joseph tells his brothers, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." This reminds me of Paul, always joyfully sending his letters to spread the Gospel.

Both Joseph and Paul understood that suffering was not in vain. Joseph's hardships prepared him for a destiny far greater than he could have imagined. This brings us to the powerful truth that sometimes our suffering is part of a divine plan.  So how can we find joy in our own suffering today? Here are a few takeaways from Joseph and Paul's lives:

 1.  We can choose how we view our suffering. Instead of seeing it as an end, we can view it as a chapter in our journey. With God’s help, every setback can lead to a comeback.

 2. Both Paul and Joseph remained faithful through every trial. The way we handle our challenges speaks to our character and faith because God is with us, guiding us even in our darkest moments.

 3.  Both Joseph and Paul could have buried themselves in self-pity, yet chose to trust God with humility. We can find joy by looking for the silver linings and being thankful for the growth that comes through our trials.

 4.  Remember, your suffering can lead to something greater. God often uses our pain to shape us and prepare us for what lies ahead.  Be encouraged and remember that our struggles are not for us; they are to help others get free and give God the glory.

Joseph’s life and Paul's life teach us that joy and suffering can coexist. We may not understand the 'why' behind our struggles, but we can trust in God’s greater plan, and he will use it for the good of his people. Be encouraged to consider their resilience and humility. Let their stories remind you that joy isn’t just a feeling; it’s a choice we make each day, especially when times are tough. Have faith that it glorifies our heavenly Father.

May we all strive to find joy in our journeys, no matter how difficult the path may be. Remember, God is always with you.

Guard your promise

🌿 Devotional Reflection: Don’t allow disobedience keep you from the promise

Scripture Focus: “Because you did not trust in Me enough to honor Me as holy… you will not bring this community into the land I give them.” — Numbers 20:12

Moses loved the people he led. He wanted them to have water, comfort, answers, breakthrough. But in that deep desire to meet their needs, he let their pressure shape his response more than God’s instruction.

God said speak to the rock.

Moses, overwhelmed by the weight of the people, struck it instead.

The people still got blessed — water flowed.

But Moses lost access to a blessing meant for him.

✨ The Hard Truth

Where God is taking you, not everyone is meant to go.

And sometimes the pressure to bless, carry, or satisfy others can pull you into disobedience.

• You can be so focused on helping others reach their potential that you miss your own.

• You can be so consumed with their expectations that you slip back into old methods.

• You can be so eager to provide that you stop listening to what God actually said.

Moses wasn’t punished for loving people — he was redirected because he let their pressure override God’s voice.

💡 Reflection for Today

Who are you trying to drag into a season God never assigned to them?

Where are you letting the weight of others’ needs drown out God’s instructions for you?

A Biblical Marriage

Keys for a great marriage are simple yet profound: appreciation, honesty, faith, laughter, and above all—God. 

A house cannot stand on sand; it needs a firm foundation. Scripture teaches that the Word of God is that foundation, and marriage itself can be seen as a living expression of it.

Marriage is rooted in His Word: the joining of two souls to create a family that continues His will. Yet in today’s world, marriage is often treated as something temporary, something you can walk away from when “it didn’t work out.” The truth is, it didn’t work out because the work wasn’t done from the beginning.

Consider those who rush to the altar after a divorce. If something has been broken once, wisdom calls us to pause, reflect, and seek the root cause before repeating the same mistake. Too often, couples enter marriage without asking even the most basic questions. 

Every couple should have a “what if” conversation: What if you get pregnant? What if I lose my job? These questions reveal the baggage, beliefs, and expectations each person brings into the marriage. Looking to the past helps ensure history isn’t repeated by the same mistakes.

In America today, more and more people choose to live together with a “just in case” mindset—believing that if they break up, they can walk away without fighting over property. But marriage, by definition and design, is far more than convenience. It is an oath under God, uniting two different human beings from different backgrounds, beliefs, and cultures. Love and God’s will are what truly unite them.

As couples living in this society, we must guard our hearts and homes with both sword and shield. The Word of God is the sword, and accountability to your partner is the shield. Together, they form a strong defense and offense around your marriage. When you begin to believe in yourselves as one, amazing things will happen—because God has plans for your marriage.

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.””

Matthew 19:6 NIV

The Bait of Satan

Offense is subtle and sneaky. It rarely announces itself with a loud crash; instead, it slips in quietly through a careless word, a misunderstood tone, or an unmet expectation. but it’s one of the enemy’s sharpest tools.

In marriage and relationships, offense doesn’t just wound feelings — it opens the door for division, bitterness, and missed blessings. John Bevere famously called offense “The Bait of Satan” because it lures us into traps that keep us from walking in love and unity.

Lucky  for us scripture shows us how to resist offense, guard our hearts, and even allow certain offenses to propel us closer to God’s purpose.  We see an example of this in Matthew 13:57–58 — When Jesus returned to His hometown, people were offended by Him. Because of their offense, He “did not do many mighty works there.” Offense literally blocked miracles.

In marriage, offense can block intimacy, communication, and the flow of God’s favor. When we hold grudges, we shut the door to reconciliation and blessing . Offense truly is the Enemy’s Trap, in  Luke 17:1 — Jesus said, “It is impossible that no offenses should come.” Offense is inevitable, but how we respond determines whether we fall into the trap. The enemy uses offense to isolate us, whisper lies like “They don’t value you” or “You deserve better.”

So how do we recognize that the offense is the bait and instead we must choose humility and communication? Proverbs 19:11 reminds us, “It is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Easier said than done right? When we are offended, the flesh  starts getting stirred up and we get hot and ready to fire. You can almost  feel the old self rise up without missing a beat. Can you relate?

In Ephesians 4:26–27  it says “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” This is a our clear instruction to  deal with it quickly, talk it out, forgive, or release it before the day ends.

But did you ever think that an offense can catapult you into a blessing? Not all offense is destructive, sometimes being “offended” by truth shakes us out of complacency. In Acts 2:37 — When Peter preached, the people were “cut to the heart.” That offense led to repentance and salvation. In marriage, a loving confrontation may sting, but it can lead to growth, healing, and deeper intimacy.

Offenses are unavoidable, but it doesn’t have to be fatal. In marriage, it can either block blessings or become the very thing that propels us into greater unity and purpose. The choice is ours: take the bait of Satan, or resist it through forgiveness, humility, and love.

Refuse to carry yesterday’s offense into today and the tomorrows to come and allow God to use even your most painful moments to refine your relationship.  Ask yourself, “Am I holding on to an offense that is keeping God’s blessings from flowing in my marriage?” Be encouraged to  release it through forgiveness.

Grieving Something You Never Had

Have you ever fallen deeply in love with the idea of someone loving you, only to realize that it will never come to pass? When that realization hits, it can shatter your heart into a million pieces. It’s puzzling how one can become enamored with the notion of a person in their life who never truly wants to be in it. 

I fell in love with the dream of one day meeting my father. That dream came to fruition when I was just 13 years old. That phone call and the many that followed filled a void I had for years, a void I didn't even know existed.
Growing up, I shared wonderful memories with my grandpa, uncles, and cousins who showered me with love.  

They made me feel cherished, and often, I didn't feel the absence of my father's love as acutely as I might have. Yet, I found myself daydreaming in elementary school, imagining a soldier walking through the doors to find me. I had a scenario scripted, but that was all it was—an illusion of connection.

When that phone call opened the door to communication, and I finally met him at 16, I wish I could tell you it marked the beginning of a lasting relationship. Sadly, it didn't. Now nearing 50, I can't recall the last time we spoke. Altogether, we've met only about seven times. 

In recent years, I've noticed that each birthday feels heavier, the same goes for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas…. I find myself feeling sad and disappointed as I wait for a birthday text or phone call that never comes. This pain often leaves me questioning why it affects me so deeply as an adult. Is it the visibility of a life he lives, where he is a father and grandfather to others, while my family remains nonexistent in his world? How dare I expect something when the man I met over the phone, whom I barely know?

Whatever the reasons might be, I thank God for the blessing this far and forgive the offense. I've come to realize that I am continuously enduring a grieving process. I grieve the loss of love I never truly had—a love that wasn't mine, a love that never fully blossomed.  I rely on what the word says to find comfort and pray Holy Spirit teaches me to be a better spouse and parent to purposely plant different seeds into my children and their future families, and be watchful that it never develops into hidden issues or strongholds the enemy can use to hinder marriage.

Yet, even in this place of pain, I find solace in God's everlasting love. In Psalm 34:18, it says, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." This verse serves as a reminder that even in our most profound grief, we are not alone. We can lay our burdens before Him and seek the healing that only His love can provide.

As we navigate the complexities of relationships and unfulfilled longings, may we hold onto the hope that God sees our pain and is always ready to embrace us with love and comfort.

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."

Rebuke, Loosen, Bind & Cast Out

Matthew 18:18-20 "Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."  As I read this scripture, I am reminded to focus on the part that talks about "loose on earth."   Matthew reminds us that we have the authority to lose things here on Earth. I am quickly reminded that I have the power to loosen and bind peace over my family here on Earth.  What a powerful reminder!
This by all means is not about condemnation against our spouse, but when we see areas in their life that don't align with the path God has for them, as their life partner, we are responsible to lovingly address these issues using biblical principles, and learn how to fight in warfare is key to making it through.
The enemy sets out to kill, steal, and destroy, and we must be ready for battle to defend our families.  His sole purpose is to destroy families, especially Christ-centered homes.  Did you know that the blood of Jesus gives you authority to rebuke, loosen, bind, and cast out to darkness that which comes to steal your peace?
It’s essential to be in one accord so that it is clear to you that your spouse is not the enemy; you have an unseen enemy that comes dressed as anger, financial burden, illness, and much more.  The blood of Jesus gives you the authority to rebuke, loosen, bind, and cast out these attacks so that you are set free and delivered. 
"Lord, we ask for Your wisdom as we navigate our relationship. Lord, we rebuke any attack orchestrated by the enemy; we bind that situation trying to tear us apart, trying to steal our peace; we loosen it, we bind it,  and cast it out into darkness.  Instead, we lose and bind joy and peace in our home and over our family.  Father, may your blessings pour over our union. Shine Your light into any areas of darkness and reveal them to us so that, in the name of Jesus, we pray, driving away anything that does not align with Your will for our marriage. Amen."

When we get married, we vow to love and support one another, and oftentimes we end up having to correct one another and pray that we have the maturity to do so in a graceful manner because the word teaches us that our spouse is not our enemy.  As we grow spiritually, we learn about warfare, this never-ending battle of God's Kingdom and Satan's Kingdom, light and darkness.  

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."

Healed, Redeemed,Transformed

*Healed*
 To be free from injury or disease; to restore to wholeness and health—healing a wound. To make someone well again, to heal the sick. To overcome undesirable conditions and mend troubles.
*Redeemed*
To buy back or repurchase. To regain or win back. To free from distress or harm, such as liberating from captivity by payment of ransom.
*Transformed*
To change in composition or structure. To alter outward appearance or form. To change in character or condition.
In that moment, I found myself praising God for keeping my heart pure, for granting me the strength to pray for those who have allowed the enemy to use them against my family.  As a mother, you understand the intensity of wanting to protect your children—you can go from calm to fierce in an instant when you witness an injustice against your children.  I had to practice patience and strength, maintaining my faith.  More importantly, I had the privilege of ministering, sharing the good news, and reassuring my family that our trust is in the Lord.

Healed, redeemed, and transformed. There are no coincidences in God's timing. Recently, I had several conversations that made me reflect on how victorious I felt after facing a challenge. I recognized how healed, redeemed, and transformed I was when I refused to let the enemy pull me back into my old self. The temptation was there, but it quickly turned into a recognition of the enemy's tactics. I thought, "God has this! Don’t even think for a moment that I will return to who I used to be."

While it may sometimes feel like we're taking 20 steps backward, we must shift our perspective to see challenges as catapults, propelling us further than we could ever imagine. Each trial makes us stronger and gives us a testimony to share.  By allowing ourselves to be gifts of discipleship and dedicated followers of Jesus, we cultivate peace and deep faith. 

Allow the sharing of your experiences with others to be a highlight of your parenting journey, and embrace being able to pour into your family as the blessing it is.

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I have come far

Have you ever read a devotional or scripture that reminds you of how far you've come?  Resentment has cost me friends and even family. I built walls to protect myself from the pain of disappointment, convincing myself that staying distant was safer than risking hurt. The outcome I anticipated was always the same—getting close only to be let down.

A believer's journey includes choosing to love family members who might gossip or harbor envy towards my successes. They see the fruits of my labor but often overlook the struggles, storms, and the unwavering faith that has carried me through, but now I choose to fall in love with building the Kingdom of God instead of pursuing my own self-interests.

To truly reopen my heart, I realized I needed to submit and surrender to God’s ways. It’s essential to view each person as God’s creation, recognizing that they, too, are imperfect and capable of causing hurt. I understood that the seeds I needed to plant for the future were far more significant than the resentment I held onto. I had to embrace a childlike faith. Like our little ones, whom we may discipline, yet still come running for hugs, I had to learn to forgive quickly and practice turning the other cheek when someone offends me.

Matthew 7:21 (NIV) tells us: "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." In Matthew 6, we’re reminded to seek first the Kingdom.  Even as a new believer, this message resonates deeply.  Pastor Mike Todd taught a series and shared that “when it comes to pursuing God, there is no period.” We mustn't put a period in the Kingdom; there are only commas. This means we continue to pursue His Kingdom with intention.

By focusing on our spiritual growth and choosing to be His hands and feet in every circle of influence—family, friends, clients, and beyond—we can reach others without limits.  Through social media, blogs, small groups, and more, we can create a legacy rooted in a Kingdom mindset. 

When we are gone, may people remember the love and purpose we shared in service to God.

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Calm and Stoic

How can you cultivate a calm and stoic marriage grounded in biblical principles? 

Challenges are inevitable in this world, but if we learn to tap into biblical teachings to strengthen our relationships, we can grow stronger with each other and in God's word.  So, can you be intentional in anchoring your faith? 

 A great start is to begin each day with a quiet reflection. One scripture you can start with is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which speaks to love, patience, and understanding, all of which are essential daily in a marriage and life in general. Meditate on these words and ask God to guide your actions throughout the day. Consider how you can incorporate these attitudes into your life.

Another way is to be mindful of your interactions by practicing reflecting the love of Christ.  In James, we learn not only to listen, but he advises us to "be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."  Imagine what your day will look like if you practice these basic principles.

Lastly, celebrate your blessings.  Something as simple as the very air you breathe is a blessing, one that we take for granted daily. Make time at the end of the day to reflect together on the day, and even try this each week for a deep reflection on your relationship.  Use Colossians 3:13 as a guide. " Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. 

 Forgive as The Lord forgave you." Consider journaling these moments together to celebrate the milestones in your marriage.  One cool idea to incorporate weekly is a gratitude jar.  Set a jar by your bedside and weekly, each write down your gratitude. A year later, sit together and take turns reading them. You will be full of reminders of all the ways God provided for you throughout the year.

Be encouraged to create a foundation of spiritual wisdom by integrating passages from Proverbs and Psalms into your life, aiming to have a sturdy foundation.  Remember that marriage is a journey of companionship, growth, and faith. May God bless your union with peace, understanding, and an everlasting bond that reflects the love of Christ.

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Judas Moments

In Romans 8:28, we read that "all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Married couples will encounter storms that sway left and right and with challenges that feel like betrayals, but when you allow Jesus to be the anchor, no storm can destroy what God has joined.  What if we viewed those betrayals the way Judas played a role in the betrayal of Jesus?  It is not a matter of if, but when we encounter trials in a marriage.  

Do you feel you have the spiritual maturity to see it as "all things will work out for the good of those who love him"?   

You must be ready and anticipate moments when the individual you share life with tests your faith and commitment. These "Judas Moments" will bring pain and suffering, but they can also strengthen you and push you towards victory. While hardships are challenging, they can refine your character and deepen the bond with your spouse if you allow God to use them for His Glory.

I invite you to take a moment to reflect and identify a conflict in your marriage to use it as a conversation starter and discuss it openly, embrace it as a part of growing and a step closer to victory.

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God knows who you really are, does your spouse?

In Psalms 138:1, we are powerfully reminded how God knows our inner being more than anyone else. "O Lord, you have searched m,e and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. You perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord, know it completely."

In the journey of marriage, it is essential to bring our authentic selves into the relationship. Yet, do we truly do this?  Do we actually open up about the aspects of ourselves that shine as well as those we find challenging?  God's intimate knowledge of our inner being calls us to embrace both vulnerability and honesty with our spouses.  I invite you to reflect and think about any aspects of your character that you are still hiding from your spouse. 

Being authentic with your spouse will not only deepen your connection but also, with God's help, those areas of your life you find challenging will start to ease up as you grow to trust your spouse.

I urge you to take a moment to reflect on any parts of your character that you might be holding back from your partner. Being genuine with each other not only enhances your connection but, with God’s grace, can also help you overcome any difficulties you face. Embrace this opportunity to grow together!

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."

Servant

Remember what I told you: “A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also” — John 15:20

Are you a servant? In today's society, being called a servant often carries a negative connotation, but in the Bible, it signifies a way to follow our Lord and Savior.

The outside world often dismisses anything related to Jesus, believing that their own efforts and strengths have made them successful. As believers, we are not only followers but also servants, understanding that everything we do for the Kingdom is meant to bring Him glory, including marriage. With every good deed, a little piece of heaven breaks forth onto the earth, and for this, we often face persecution.

We must strive, despite the challenges of this world, to ensure that everyone hears the gospel, especially our families, and is transformed by it. The enemy is after families; he seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. Are you ready for the battle ahead?

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."

Belonging

"If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. But since you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, that is why the world hates you"  — John 15:19
In today's society, many people seek to belong to something. From our youths joining gangs to individuals participating in unions or professional organizations, they are often motivated by a feeling of lacking connection. While being part of various organizations is common, the dynamics change drastically when one becomes a Christian and joins the family of Christ.

The term "Christian" was initially used as a derogatory label in Acts 2, reflecting the negative perceptions held by both Jews and Pagans at that time. From the very beginning of Christianity, followers of Jesus faced pressure and prejudice. We are called not to conform but to be agents of change. We are called to be the light in an often dark world and to add flavor to its blandness. Our unity is essential, not because we are superior, but because our leader illustrates that together we can accomplish world-changing tasks.

Each of us has been chosen to contribute our unique talents to the body of Christ to help it grow. Therefore, when the pressures of the world become overwhelming, remember that we do not belong to this world; rather, we are part of a future world that awaits all believers.
May God continue to bless your marriage even when the world stands against what it stands for.

"If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why this world hates you.” John‬ ‭15‬‭19‬ ‭

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What are you reproducing?

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”
‭‭John‬ ‭15‬:‭5‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I invite you to start looking at your life as a branch. Being the branch between Jesus and community, Jesus and your family, Jesus and your co-workers, Jesus and strangers, you get the point, right?

In a  podcast Charles Stanley stated this: “But a New Testament disciple is one who has accepted Jesus Christ as Savior, who has yielded to Jesus Christ as Lord, and who accepted Jesus Christ as Savior, you've done that, yielded to Jesus Christ as Lord, I certainly hope you've done that, and through whom Jesus Christ is reproducing his life in the life of another.”

Be encouraged to reflect on what you are reproducing. Is the fruit reproducing Jesus? What fruit are you bearing? How is the condition of your branch? Did you know that if the damage is relatively slight, you can prune broken branches, repair torn bark or rough edges around the wounds, and let the tree begin to repair itself? 

That is how our relationship with Jesus is; He knows were are not perfect and come with lots of damage, but what an amazing feeling to know He abides in us. Now, be encouraged to go and let Jesus continue reproducing through you.

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."

To Abide

“If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.” John‬ ‭15‬:‭6‬ ‭

• To tolerate or endure: To bear patiently, withstand, or tolerate something 

• To wait for: To await something 

• To accept without objection: To acquiesce in or accept something without objection. 

• To remain stable: To remain fixed or stable in a state 

• To continue in a place: To sojourn or continue in a place 

• To conform to: To abide by something means to conform to or obey a rule

According to Merriam-Webster, the word abide has multiple meanings: 

It has been written that to "abide in Christ" means to maintain a close, personal relationship with Jesus Christ, where one stays connected to Him through faith, prayer, scripture reading, and obedience. Can you imagine the level of discipline it takes to trust, have dependence, and intimacy, reflecting a life that is continuously influenced by His teachings and Spirit? 

Abiding involves living in true harmony with God's will, allowing His love and guidance to flow through your life and marriage, which leads to spiritual growth and transformation in your life. 

While free will allows us a daily choice to abide in him or not.  The big picture is very simple: eternal life or eternal punishment is what’s at stake; that’s the reality. Yet, even though we continue to grow spiritually, we don't fully understand the magnitude of what is required of us.

Are you really ready and willing to:

Tolerate 

Endure

Wait

Accept

Remain 

Conform to Christ? 

Reflection: How much would your marriage benefit if you decided to intentionally abide by each other? 

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."

Forgiven and Forgiving

Forgiveness doesn’t mean we automatically reestablish the relationship with someone who hurt or abused us.  God may actually want them far away, but to experience true freedom, we must forgive as God has forgiven us.

Are you struggling with or have you struggled with forgiving?  We all have, but do you understand how this is hindering your relationship with God?  You are being robbed of freedom, peace, and joy.  You are truly letting someone rent space in your mind and life for free while they continue enjoying life and remain miserable.  

This is an area definitely hard to overcome.  Of course, it's hard to forgive an ex-spouse. It's hard to forgive and pray for someone who screws you financially.  It's hard to forgive and pray for a mother or a father who left you.  It is hard to forgive and pray for people that you know talk about you, but to have freedom, we need to learn how to let go and let God. We need to learn to submit to what God instructs us to do.  We must, little by little, continue building that spiritual muscle.  

We can start by studying the word, especially the book of Matthew, and by investing in personal development resources.  We intentionally take the words we read in the Bible and truly believe that God does reward those who forgive others with his own forgiveness. We learn to let him fight our battles.   When we follow the teaching of Mark 11, we then learn to experience true freedom and make room to hear from our heavenly Father directly.  Go to him as a friend, confess, and pray to do better.  Be honest with him; he knows you are human, and it takes time to peel off years of hurt and abuse. 

Only by having a personal relationship with God can a relationship be restored by the gift of grace. 

We live in a world now where it's hard to say no to the distractions of the flesh, especially with social media and Google making it so easy to stalk those who hurt you.  It is easier than ever to feed the flesh, and the enemy knows that, but you must be intentional and disciplined to starve that desire, and this can only be done by feeding on the word to drive out unforgiveness and make room to hear God's voice.

"Send this to a friend who needs encouragement."