Grieving Something You Never Had

Have you ever fallen deeply in love with the idea of someone loving you, only to realize that it will never come to pass? When that realization hits, it can shatter your heart into a million pieces. It’s puzzling how one can become enamored with the notion of a person in their life who never truly wants to be in it. 

I fell in love with the dream of one day meeting my father. That dream came to fruition when I was just 13 years old. That phone call and the many that followed filled a void I had for years, a void I didn't even know existed.
Growing up, I shared wonderful memories with my grandpa, uncles, and cousins who showered me with love. They made me feel cherished, and often, I didn't feel the absence of my father's love as acutely as I might have. Yet, I found myself daydreaming in elementary school, imagining a soldier walking through the doors to find me. I had a scenario scripted, but that was all it was—an illusion of connection.

When that phone call opened the door to communication, and I finally met him at 16, I wish I could tell you it marked the beginning of a lasting relationship. Sadly, it didn't. Now nearing 50, I can't recall the last time we spoke. Altogether, we've met only about seven times. In recent years, I've noticed that each birthday feels heavier, the same goes for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas…. I find myself feeling sad and disappointed as I wait for a birthday text or phone call that never comes. This pain often leaves me questioning why it affects me so deeply as an adult. Is it the visibility of a life he lives, where he is a father and grandfather to others, while my family remains nonexistent in his world? How dare I expect something when the man I met over the phone, whom I barely know?

Whatever the reasons might be, I thank God for the blessing this far and forgive the offense. I've come to realize that I am continuously enduring a grieving process. I grieve the loss of love I never truly had—a love that wasn't mine, a love that never fully blossomed.  I rely on what the word says to find comfort and pray Holy Spirit teaches me to be a better spouse and parent to purposely plant different seeds into my children and their future families and watchful that it never develops into hidden issues or strongholds  the enemy can use to hinder marriage.

Yet, even in this place of pain, I find solace in God's everlasting love. In Psalm 34:18, it says, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." This verse serves as a reminder that even in our most profound grief, we are not alone. We can lay our burdens before Him and seek the healing that only His love can provide.

As we navigate the complexities of relationships and unfulfilled longings, may we hold onto the hope that God sees our pain and is always ready to embrace us with love and comfort.

Rebuke, Loosen, Bind & Cast Out

Matthew 18:18-20 "Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."  As I read this scripture, I am reminded to focus on the part that talks about "loose on earth."   Matthew reminds us that we have the authority to lose things here on Earth. I am quickly reminded that I have the power to loosen and bind peace over my family here on Earth.  What a powerful reminder!

When we get married, we vow to love and support one another, and oftentimes to we end up having to correct one another and pray that we have the maturity to do so in a graceful manner because the word teaches us that our spouse is not our enemy.  As we grow spiritually, we learn about warfare, this never-ending battle of God's Kingdom and Satan's Kingdom, light and darkness.  This by all means is not about condemnation against our spouse, but when we see areas in their life that don't align with the path God has for them, as their life partner, we are responsible to lovingly address these issues using biblical principles and learn how to fight in warfare is key to making it through.
The enemy sets out to kill, steal, and destroy, and we must be ready for battle to defend our families.  His sole purpose is to destroy families, especially Christ-centered homes.  Did you know that the blood of Jesus gives you authority to rebuke, loosen, bind, and cast out to darkness that which comes to steal your peace?
It’s essential to be in one accord so that it is clear to you that your spouse is not the enemy; you have an unseen enemy that comes dressed as anger, financial burden, illness, and much more.  The blood of Jesus gives you the authority to rebuke, loosen, bind, and cast out these attacks so that you are set free and delivered. 

"Lord, we ask for Your wisdom as we navigate our relationship. Lord, we rebuke any attack orchestrated by the enemy; we bind that situation trying to tear us apart, trying to steal our peace; we loosen it, we bind it,  and cast it out into darkness.  Instead, we lose and bind joy and peace in our home and over our family.  Father, may your blessings pour over our union. Shine Your light into any areas of darkness and reveal them to us so that, in the name of Jesus, we pray, driving away anything that does not align with Your will for our marriage. Amen."

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Healed, Redeemed,Transformed

*Healed*
 To be free from injury or disease; to restore to wholeness and health—healing a wound. To make someone well again, to heal the sick. To overcome undesirable conditions and mend troubles.
*Redeemed*
To buy back or repurchase. To regain or win back. To free from distress or harm, such as liberating from captivity by payment of ransom.
*Transformed*
To change in composition or structure. To alter outward appearance or form. To change in character or condition.

Healed, redeemed, and transformed. There are no coincidences in God's timing. Recently, I had several conversations that made me reflect on how victorious I felt after facing a challenge. I recognized how healed, redeemed, and transformed I was when I refused to let the enemy pull me back into my old self. The temptation was there, but it quickly turned into a recognition of the enemy's tactics. I thought, "God has this! Don’t even think for a moment that I will return to who I used to be."

In that moment, I found myself praising God for keeping my heart pure, for granting me the strength to pray for those who have allowed the enemy to use them against my family.  As a mother, you understand the intensity of wanting to protect your children—you can go from calm to fierce in an instant when you witness an injustice against your children.  I had to practice patience and strength, maintaining my faith.  More importantly, I had the privilege of ministering, sharing the good news, and reassuring my family that our trust is in the Lord.

While it may sometimes feel like we're taking 20 steps backward, we must shift our perspective to see challenges as catapults, propelling us further than we could ever imagine. Each trial makes us stronger and gives us a testimony to share.  By allowing ourselves to be gifts of discipleship and dedicated followers of Jesus, we cultivate peace and deep faith. 

Allow the sharing of your experiences with others to be a highlight of your parenting journey, and embrace being able to pour into your family as the blessing it is.

I have come far

Have you ever read a devotional or scripture that reminds you of how far you've come?  Resentment has cost me friends and even family. I built walls to protect myself from the pain of disappointment, convincing myself that staying distant was safer than risking hurt. The outcome I anticipated was always the same—getting close only to be let down.  A believer's journey includes choosing to love family members who might gossip or harbor envy towards my successes. They see the fruits of my labor but often overlook the struggles, storms, and the unwavering faith that has carried me through, but now I choose to fall in love with building the Kingdom of God instead of pursuing my own self-interests.

To truly reopen my heart, I realized I needed to submit and surrender to God’s ways. It’s essential to view each person as God’s creation, recognizing that they, too, are imperfect and capable of causing hurt. I understood that the seeds I needed to plant for the future were far more significant than the resentment I held onto. I had to embrace a childlike faith. Like our little ones, whom we may discipline, yet still come running for hugs, I had to learn to forgive quickly and practice turning the other cheek when someone offends me.

Matthew 7:21 (NIV) tells us: "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." In Matthew 6, we’re reminded to seek first the Kingdom.  Even as a new believer, this message resonates deeply.  Pastor Mike Todd taught a series and shared that “when it comes to pursuing God, there is no period.” We mustn't put a period in the Kingdom; there are only commas. This means we continue to pursue His Kingdom with intention.

By focusing on our spiritual growth and choosing to be His hands and feet in every circle of influence—family, friends, clients, and beyond—we can reach others without limits.  Through social media, blogs, small groups, and more, we can create a legacy rooted in a Kingdom mindset. 

When we are gone, may people remember the love and purpose we shared in service to God.

Calm and Stoic

How can you cultivate a calm and stoic marriage grounded in biblical principles? 

Challenges are inevitable in this world, but if we learn to tap into biblical teachings to strengthen our relationships, we can grow stronger with each other and in the word.  So, can you be intentional in anchoring your faith?  A great start is to begin each day with a quiet reflection. One scripture you can start with is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 which speaks to love, patience, and understanding, all of which are essential daily in a marriage and life in general. Meditate on these words and ask God to guide your actions throughout the day. Consider how you can incorporate these attitudes into your life.

Another way is to be mindful of your interactions by practicing reflecting the love of Christ.  In James, we learn not only to listen, but he advises us to "be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."  Imagine what your day will look like if you practice these basic principles.

Lastly, celebrate your blessings.  Something as simple as the very air you breathe is a blessing, one that we take for granted daily. Make time at the end of the day to reflect together on the day, and even try this each week for a deep reflection on your relationship.  Use Colossians 3:13 as a guide. " Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as The Lord forgave you." Consider journaling these moments together to celebrate the milestones in your marriage.  One cool idea to incorporate weekly is a gratitude jar.  Set a jar by your bedside and weekly each write down your gratitude. A year later, sit together and take turns reading them. You will be full of reminders of all the ways God provided for you throughout the year.

Be encouraged to create a foundation of spiritual wisdom by integrating passages from Proverbs and Psalms into your life, aiming to have a sturdy foundation.  Remember that marriage is a journey of companionship, growth, and faith. May God bless your union with peace, understanding, and an everlasting bond that reflects the love of Christ.

Judas Moments

In Romans 8:28, we read that "all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Married couples will encounter storms that sway left and right and with challenges that feel like betrayals, but when you allow Jesus to be the anchor, no storm can destroy what God has joined.  What if we viewed those betrayals the way Judas played a role through the betrayal of Jesus?  It is not a matter of if, but when we encounter trials in a marriage.  Do you feel you have the spiritual maturity to see it as "all things will work out for the good of those who love him"?   

You must be ready and anticipate moments when the individual you share life with tests your faith and commitment. These "Judas Moments" will bring pain and suffering, but they can also strengthen you and push you towards victory. While hardships are challenging, they can refine your character and deepen the bond with your spouse if you allow God to use them for His Glory.

I invite you to take a moment to reflect and identify a conflict in your marriage to use it as a conversation starter and discuss it openly, embrace it as a part of growing and a step closer to victory.

God knows who you really are, does your spouse?

In Psalms 138:1 we are powerfully reminded how God knows our inner being more than anyone else. "O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely."

In the journey of marriage, it is essential to bring our authentic selves into the relationship. Yet, do we truly do this?  Do we actually open up about the aspects of ourselves that shine as well as those we find challenging?  God's intimate knowledge of our inner being calls us to embrace both vulnerability and honesty with our spouses.  I invite you to reflect and think about any aspects of your character that you are still hiding from your spouse.  Being authentic with your spouse will not only deepen your connection but also, with God's help, those areas of your life you find challenging will start to ease up as you grow to trust your spouse.

I urge you to take a moment to reflect on any parts of your character that you might be holding back from your partner. Being genuine with each other not only enhances your connection but, with God’s grace, can also help you overcome any difficulties you face. Embrace this opportunity to grow together!

Servant

Remember what I told you: “A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also” — John 15:20

Are you a servant? In today's society, being called a servant often carries a negative connotation, but in the Bible, it signifies a way to follow our Lord and Savior.

The outside world often dismisses anything related to Jesus, believing that their own efforts and strengths have made them successful. As believers, we are not only followers but also servants, understanding that everything we do for the Kingdom is meant to bring Him glory, including marriage. With every good deed, a little piece of heaven breaks forth onto the earth, and for this, we often face persecution. We must strive, despite the challenges of this world, to ensure that everyone hears the gospel, especially our families, and be transformed by it. The enemy is after families; he seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. Are you ready for the battle ahead?

Belonging

"If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. But since you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, that is why the world hates you"  — John 15:19
In today's society, many people seek to belong to something. From our youths joining gangs to individuals participating in unions or professional organizations, they are often motivated by a feeling of lacking connection. While being part of various organizations is common, the dynamics change drastically when one becomes a Christian and joins the family of Christ.
The term "Christian" was initially used as a derogatory label in Acts 2, reflecting the negative perceptions held by both Jews and Pagans at that time. From the very beginning of Christianity, followers of Jesus faced pressure and prejudice. We are called not to conform but to be agents of change. We are called to be the light in an often dark world and to add flavor to its blandness. Our unity is essential, not because we are superior, but because our leader illustrates that together we can accomplish world-changing tasks.
Each of us has been chosen to contribute our unique talents to the body of Christ to help it grow. Therefore, when the pressures of the world become overwhelming, remember that we do not belong to this world; rather, we are part of a future world that awaits all believers.
May God continue to bless your marriage even when the world stands against what it stands for.

"If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why this world hates you.” John‬ ‭15‬:‭19‬ ‭

What are you reproducing?

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.”
‭‭John‬ ‭15‬:‭5‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I invite you to start looking at your life as a branch. Being the branch between Jesus and community, Jesus and your family, Jesus and your co-workers, Jesus and strangers, you get the point right?

In a  podcast Charles Stanley stated this: “But a New Testament disciple is one who has accepted Jesus Christ as Savior, who has yielded to Jesus Christ as Lord, and who accepted Jesus Christ as Savior, you've done that, yielded to Jesus Christ as Lord, I certainly hope you've done that, and through whom Jesus Christ is reproducing his life in the life of another.”

Be encouraged to reflect on what you are reproducing. Is the fruit reproducing Jesus? What fruit are you bearing? How is the condition of your branch? Did you know that if the damage is relatively slight, you can prune broken branches, repair torn bark or rough edges around the wounds, and let the tree begin to repair itself? That is how our relationship with Jesus is; He knows were are not perfect and come with lots of damage, but what an amazing feeling to know He abides in us. Now, be encouraged to go and let Jesus continue reproducing. 

To Abide

“If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.” John‬ ‭15‬:‭6‬ ‭

• To tolerate or endure: To bear patiently, withstand, or tolerate something 

• To wait for: To await something 

• To accept without objection: To acquiesce in or accept something without objection. 

• To remain stable: To remain fixed or stable in a state 

• To continue in a place: To sojourn or continue in a place 

• To conform to: To abide by something means to conform to or obey a rule

According to Merriam-Webster, the word abide has multiple meanings: 

It has been written that to "abide in Christ" means to maintain a close, personal relationship with Jesus Christ, where one stays connected to Him through faith, prayer, scripture reading, and obedience. Can you imagine the level of discipline it takes to trust, have dependence, and intimacy, reflecting a life that is continuously influenced by His teachings and Spirit? 

Abiding involves living in true harmony with God's will, to allow His love and guidance to flow through your life and marriage which leads to spiritual growth and transformation in your life. 

While free will allows us a daily choice to abide in him or not.  The big picture is very simple: eternal life or eternal punishment is what’s at stake; that’s the reality. Yet, even though we continue to grow spiritually, we don't fully understand the magnitude of what is required of us.

Are you really ready and willing to:

Tolerate 

Endure

Wait

Accept

Remain 

Conform to Christ? 

Reflection: How much would your marriage benefit if you decided to intentionally abide by each other? 

Forgiven and Forgiving

Forgiveness doesn’t mean we automatically reestablish the relationship with someone who hurt or abused us.  God may actually want them far away, but to experience true freedom, we must forgive as God has forgiven us.

Are you struggling with or have you struggled with forgiving?  We all have, but do you understand how this is hindering your relationship with God?  You are being robbed of freedom, peace, and joy.  You are truly letting someone rent space in your mind and life for free while they continue enjoying life and remain miserable.  This is an area definitely hard to overcome.  Of course, it's hard to forgive an ex-spouse. It's hard to forgive and pray for someone that screws you financially.  It's hard to forgive and pray for a mother or a father who left you.  It is hard to forgive and pray for people that you know talk about you, but to have freedom, we need to learn how to let go and let God. We need to learn to submit to what God instructs us to do.  We must, little by little, continue building that spiritual muscle.  

We can start by studying the word, especially the book of Matthew, and by investing in personal development resources.  We intentionally take the words we read in the Bible and truly believe that God does reward those who forgive others with his own forgiveness. We learn to let him fight our battles.   When we follow the teaching of Mark 11, you then learn to experience true freedom and make room to hear from our heavenly father directly.  Go to him as a friend, confess, and pray to do better.  Be honest with him; he knows you are human, and it takes time to peel off years of hurt and abuse. 

Only by having a personal relationship with God can a relationship be restored by the gift of grace. 

We live in a world now where it's hard to say no to the distractions of the flesh, especially with social media and Google making it so easy to stalk those who hurt you.  It is easier than ever to feed the flesh, and the enemy knows that, but you must be intentional and disciplined to starve that desire, and this can only be done by feeding on the word to drive out unforgiveness and make room to hear God's voice.

Whom shall I send?

In the Bible there are amazing stories of God choosing a person to bring his message. Abraham, Moses, Gideon, David, Peter and many more. Each one in the natural unqualified; but when God spoke they listened and chose to follow his orders.

Fear and adversity had given way to obedience and courage. What things in your life are you afraid to confront? The Bible says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.Joshua 1:9 NIV

God doesn’t say it’s a suggestion, it’s a command. His word is a reminder that we are His children, and as a loving father, He gives us the confidence by telling us He is with us no matter how the odds look. Our Father rules the natural and unnatural.

Be strong and courageous, my brothers and sisters for no challenge we face in life and in marriage too big for our Father to help you overcome.

Fine Line

There is a fine line between having grace and exercising your human free will. While grace allows you to forgive, free will can give the enemy a chance to exploit your vulnerabilities, especially when you've been hurt by those who claim to love and respect you.

This struggle is a constant battle for believers: deciding when to extend grace to those who take advantage of your trust, transparency, dedication, and love. You might find yourself holding on, having faith, and choosing to see the best in them—even before they see it for themselves. You may wish to envision them fulfilling the God-given purpose set before them, even if they don’t seem worthy of your grace—all while internally fighting a secret struggle.

The challenge lies in discerning the big picture: recognizing that some individuals may not deserve your gift of grace, but what does the word say?. This struggle with decision-making can be especially daunting for believers, particularly those in marriage.

Sometimes, we overlook the enemy's plan as he plants subtle seeds of doubt, nurtures them, and waits for the right moment to reap the harvest. He patiently invests time in challenging your faith and God's promises regarding your marriage, all while testing God's protection before you even realize what is happening. So what do you do in such situations?

Free will might suggest:
- Give up
- You deserve better
- They will do it again
- You can't believe a word they say
- They will never change
- Plan your revenge.

On the other hand, grace says:

"I forgive because Jesus lives in my heart. "Ultimately, grace provides the opportunity for 'What Would Jesus Do' moments, allowing you to practice the teachings of our Savior. Even the Apostle Paul struggled, exclaiming, "Lord, why do I do the things I do not want to do?" It’s okay to feel torn, like Paul, at times wanting to seek revenge or letting the offense jeopardize the life you’ve built together. Don’t let pride obstruct your desire to forgive gracefully.

We've all experienced this internal conflict. So, ask yourself: which choice will bring your soul peace—the kind that surpasses all understanding? You have the free will to choose faith and grace or to allow the enemy to win the battle he crafted to destroy your union, steal your future, and undermine your purpose.

Walking the walk

As Christians, we know that the men and women of God will fall because the only one that was sinless was Jesus.  We put faith in our pastors as they too, get up every morning to fight an enemy that is well aware of their weaknesses, which we know nothing about. 

If you are blessed to get fed weekly from a pulpit, remember to remove that man or woman and focus on the message, not the messenger.  Stop glamorizing these flawed humans, stop being a groupie and a cheerleader about their life.  Focus on the word, not the human.

While these men and women are trusted into ministry and we do all hold them at a high standard, yes, but they are not Jesus, the enemy will continue to prey on them because he knows that is the quickest way to discourage both new and seasoned believers. 

Yes, moral failure needs to be exposed because we serve a God of excellence but please stop making your religious walk about church clicks and glamorize those in leadership, make it about the word instead so that when you hear about these things you can separate the two without affecting your walk and allowing the enemy to use those situations from discouraging you and your family from the spiritual walk ahead of you.

Fight the Fight

Some people are meant to stay in your life forever pouring into you and you onto them and some just for seasons.

When God allows people to distance themselves from your life, see it as a way of protection; not everyone has your best interests at heart.  Some go away all on their own because your light shines so bright it disrupts their darkness; others hang around while secretly envying everything about you, hoping to one day celebrate your downfall. We see it in families,  friend groups, co-workers, and even church folk. 

Stay vigilant, stay prayed up, and ask God to show you who the true prayer warriors in your life are and to discern which are not. The enemy doesn’t like it when you put your armor on, when you seek out true prayer warriors, or when you call him for who he is, the accuser.  This accuser is always lurking around with his own little petty army, using people in your life who are willing vessels to do his work.   Ask God to give you eyes to see and ears to hear what he wants to show you so that you can be prepared for battle.

Spend time being vigilant and aware of people who are quick to backstab, who envy, and who find joy when times get rough. This type of hypocrisy is sickening and it is hurtful, especially coming from a loved one, but we have to remember that they are not the enemy; the enemy is real,  he comes to kill, steal and destroy what God has united.  This enemy is after our families, but we have authority in the name of Jesus; by His blood, we are covered from these attacks and already have victory.

Own it!

What will you hear?

 “And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.”

Do you realize you have a powerful testimony without all the theatrics and foolery you continue to post?

Take off the mask and lay off this sick need to get praise from man, titles and recognition and seek praise from your creator instead by truly sharing the gospel to save souls and create disciples.

God promises to take you from glory to glory.  You see, unlike the praise you get from man, which is temporary, God’s eternal. 

If you are satisfied living in such a way keep it up!  When your final act is called,  will God say “well done” or “who are you whose works I do not know?”

Broken Beautiful

The other day there was an issue that came up and for some reason I remembered this famous mother goose poem. 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again.

As men we bear the responsibility to make our wives feel that we are their security. Security and trust in a relationship are the glue that holds everything together. 

What happens when we fail and fall? 

As men, we try not to hurt our spouses by saying little lies that we believe will have no consequences, but that is so far from the truth.  Our words have repercussion and just like the little rhyme says they couldn’t put humpty back together again. I know what you’re thinking, it’s a little extreme, but understand that once that trust is shattered you might put it back together but it will never be the same as before. 

So, I challenge you to be mindful when tempted to speak a little white lie. A simple lie can steal the security of your wife.   Many long marriages have cracks but they continue in perfect imperfection because there is a belief that together they can handle what ever the issue is.  It’s in the cracks that we can look back and admire the marriages that have weathered the storms. 

My brothers and sisters in Christ, renew your mind every day and cherish what God has given to you, especially your spouse. 

Humpty couldn’t be put back together by all the king’s men, but we know it’s the King of Kings that we serve, and no matter how broken we are, HE can put it back together for his purpose again. 

“This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Romans 3:22-23 NIV

Kingdom men prayer

Heavenly Father I pray for Kingdom men to step into the gap for our children.

I call on real men to be shoulder to shoulder, to be the priests of their homes. 

To be the watchmen at the gates of their homes. 

To stop the influence of social media, fake media, and even real media.

To stand against the woke culture of this day. 

To bring a Godly perspective from our local, state, and Federal governments when, as men, we stop the nonsense of what a man and a woman are.

To bring real solutions to real-world problems. 

I pray for those brothers that serve who suffer from PTSD alone.

I pray for the peacemakers not only in our homes but in the world where the drums beat for war.

I pray for our children’s children and that the seeds that we plant in their hearts today will bear fruit for each generation.

I pray all this in Jesus' name, Amen.

Hospital, Family, Army

Hospital, Family, Army.

A church is a hospital.  Hospitals are places where people go to get better and seek professional life-saving advice. A church is a hospital for sinners not a club of the righteous. Yet, we as Christians sometimes forget that. We, the church must elevate our thoughts of what a church is and apply the hospital definition in every way, from giving advice to sharing compassion that goes above and beyond all understanding. The church should be a family. A place where restoration and compassion bring closer connections to friendships. As a family, we must keep issues confidential. There are times gossip can ruin trust not only at an individual level but at a church level.

How many times have you heard the phrase ”have you heard"? It’s those times we must capture ourselves and be honest in our hearts not to repeat confidential information. When we have a family that is moving in the same direction, then it turns into an Army. Last but definitely not least is the Army of the church. By restoration and trust in family mobilizing in one accord, it becomes an Army.  The Army of the church moves on a common goal. It shares in the wins and the losses for the Kingdom. It’s the sound of thousands that can be heard when they March in single step.  The Army shares the gospel. The Army’s voice is heard not only by sharing the gospel but also by standing for what is right. The Army boycotts and brings ungodly institutions to their financial knees. 

As members of the Army of God, we fly the kingdom flag wherever we go. Where we work, we open a base. In our home, we open a base where we shop we open a base. Where our children attend school, we open a base. We must open bases of the kingdom wherever we go.  We are millions around the world. Imagine if we all were in step not only in one house of worship but with all the Churches. Imagine who can be against us if we, in fact, mobilize one.

He may have a great army, but they are merely men. We have The Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles for us!” Hezekiah’s words greatly encouraged the people.”

‭‭2 Chronicles‬ ‭32‬:‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬t on spreads spreading

Adams where are you?

A couple weeks ago, one of our Pastors was preaching, and he asked a simple question during the sermon. Adam, where are you? He spoke about how God was cut off from seeing his children. Sin had come between them. It was at that moment they were cast out of Eden.  I’ve been waking up with the same questions for a couple of nights now, and this morning, as I write this, the sun hasn’t come up yet. We as men are the “Adams “ of the world. So I’ve been tasked with asking.  Adam’s where are you?

Where are you when we see social media being a tool of division instead of uniting us? We are like mice in a laboratory.  The algorithm feeds us our wants and desires to keep us happy for hours on our phones. We are addicted to information to the point we miss out to much of what’s going on around us.

Adam’s where are you? When the Gospel of love is being hijacked by the Lgbtq community to allow gay Pastors on the pulpit and gays in positions of power within churches because we as men are told not to ask. 

Jesus is the prophet of love, but He also said it simply: “Go and sin no more.” Are we not called to be salt in our society of blandness? Do we sit idly by, seeing how our houses of worship are Lukewarm by being so all-inclusive that we would rather fill seats than share the message of sin and redemption? Getting back to the basics of what sin is will go a long way in not letting it hide in plain sight.

Adam’s where are you?

During this conflict in Isreal. Do you chant the slogan from the river to the sea, or do you stay quiet? Do you pray for Israelis and Palestinians equally, knowing that war only brings pain to the innocent? Do you support terrorists or freedom fighters? Do you believe in the right to self-defense and to live in peace? As for one who made a pilgrimage to the Holy Land, I can attest that very few there realize how Holy that land really is. If they did, they wouldn’t send thousands of rockets over the skies of Israel.

Adam’s where are you?

When we see antisemitic protests. Do we know where the root of antisemitism comes from?  The fact is that antisemitism was born out of the church during forced conversions. From the inquisition to the crusades, even to the expelling from countries, our Christian forefathers have much Jewish blood on their hands in the name of the faith. A past lie that has been repeated throughout history is that the Jews killed Jesus. Yet forgetting that Jesus himself could have called legions of Angels to his side for protection. He went willingly to the cross as the sacrificial lamb. We must, as Christians, know that history.

Adam’s where are you?

Do you share with those closest to you your internal struggles? The dark hidden pain, that trauma has made you forget a pain that if it were to come out into the light you would feel embarrassed. We must remember we have brothers in arms that will stand in the gap giving good counsel even when we fall there will always be hands to lift you up.

Adam’s where are you?

Have you, as a child of God, identified your generational curses in your family?  As a father and priest of your house, have you identified from both your lineages the wrongs of your ancestors?  Adultery, lying, cheating, stealing, addictions, anger, and envy.  A good father leaves an inheritance.  What inheritance will you pass on that is good for your future generations?

Adam’s where are you?

In these turbulent times, where right is wrong and wrong is right. Where do you stand with a man identifying as a woman to play women's sports? Where do you stand with society telling us not to offend anybody by calling people pronouns? By blurring the lines of what man and woman are, we are allowing people to believe they are God. By identifying as other than what you were born as, you are saying God made a mistake.

Adams, it’s time we not only ask the hard questions but seek the hard answers. Will we, as the Adams of the world, continue to stand idly by as the apple is passed around?

Adam’s wake up for there are many battlefields that await us, which field will you be willing to fight on?

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

‭‭Joshua‬ ‭1‬:‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Leaning on Him

We often show our best to many people, we show what we want them to see.  Many men have a self image particularly of being strong. We forget how our  true strength come from Jesus.  A strength that surpasses all understanding. When we are weak He is strong.

What is a strong man?

A strong man has strong values.

A strong man has integrity.

A strong man is surrounded by other strong men who will hold him accountable for his actions.

A strong man never gives his word without counting the cost.

A strong man puts God's word into action.

A strong man gives his strength to his children by being consistent in discipline not by violence but by the word of God.

A strong man knows that God is the provider of all.

A strong man submits to his Lord and Savior by checking his heart and actions every day.

Now comes the hard part.  Are you a strong man?

“In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house.”

‭‭Mark‬ ‭3‬:‭27‬ ‭NIV‬‬

A Relationship Mansion

Every now and again, I’ll look up a house app and dream, like I believe many do by looking at mansions.  My mother has a saying I heard for years growing up: “ Dreaming don’t cost a thing.”  

I honestly believe that dreaming and praying for something opens the door for God to help you find your purpose.  While dreaming, I started wondering,  do I buy a run-down house in a rich neighborhood or do I buy a really big house in a not so good neighborhood?  I saw myself in front of a small house, and my wife came to mind. I felt The Holy Spirit show me a before and after of what a small house started as and then a mega mansion with all these additions added onto it. 

I thought of how a small house is the perfect analogy for a new relationship. When you start off, the house is small, but as you continue to make memories throughout your lifetime, a room is added each time.  When you ride your bike together, an addition is added; when you go canoeing, an addition is added; when you cook together, another room is added; when you go on vacation, a room is added.  You see, by spending time with your spouse, you begin to slowly make your relationship a mansion.  The comical thing about this dream is that only when you stop to reflect and look at your past memories do you really see how big your small house has turned into a mansion. 

What house have you built with your spouse?  Can you sit down and write down at least a hundred memories of what you and your spouse have done together throughout the years?  If not, why?  If you can’t write down the memories, then you still have a chance to have a starting point to build your dream home. 

“They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it because it was well built.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭6‬:‭48‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Faith will be tested

Faith will be tested, hope will be tried, and love will be strained.

If we know Jesus went through all this, then how dare we complain about our everyday problems?
Courage comes in many forms.  Sometimes, it comes as an act of selfishness without thinking about it, but many times, it comes from facing your fear head-on.  The battle of the mind is where it begins.  That’s when The Lord shows up. He said to be strong and courageous many times in the Bible. We know Jesus won his mind battle the night before ever stepping onto the cross.

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
Colossians 3:2 

So when difficulties come, remember that through testing comes pruning. It is the trials that God works most powerfully, shaping us into the spouses  He desires us to become more fruitful together in every season.